Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
