OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
