And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize