he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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