Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
