New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
