I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
