fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
