The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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