Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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