i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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