I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
