what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
