I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
