just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
