is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I enjoy the company of your penis
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