Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
