we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
