u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
