Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
