I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
