dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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