we have officially lost it.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
