I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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