He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
