i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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