um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
