and you said cock pushups were impossible
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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