You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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