PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
