Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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