My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
