didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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