I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
