Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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