Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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