I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
