dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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