I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
