So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
