i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
