I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
