We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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