If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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