oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
