Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
