I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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