my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
