No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize