Your tits are I can't wait for
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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