I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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