How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
