She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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