I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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