Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
