i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
