He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
