But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
