Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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