Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
