masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
