also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
