one might say we're banned from that church
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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