Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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