Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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