can we get nightvision for the apartment?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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