wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
