i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
